The Adventures of the Strangler
by goofgoobers
Summary: The Strangler now finds out he has a crush on somebody he strangled, then killed. He tries to get it out of his head, but then more misery shows up for the Strangler. Will the Strangler ever get out of misery!
1. The Beginning

**_Chapter One: The Beginning_**

"Bahahahaha!" SpongeBob laughed as he was jumping through the pretty flowers. Everything seemed to go smooth - Patrick at his side, along with Squidward, they jumped through the pretty flowers, all with smiles on their faces. The grass was neon green, and a gentle breeze lightly passed them by.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING!

SpongeBob's alarm clock went off. "Time for another day!" SpongeBob yelled at the sky, not worrying if anybody was listening to him. "Good morning, Gary!" Gary just meowed, and SpongeBob went down the gray circular staircase. SpongeBob got dressed and was heading for work.

Nearby was The TattleTale Strangler, staring at everything around him. The Strangler then spotted the yellow sponge, saying the constant "I'm Ready! I'm Ready" over and over. TTS then RAN in the opposite direction from the "yellow idiot" and then stopped to pant.

_Come on, Strangler, you are tougher than this_ TTS thought in his head. _You can easily defeat SpongeBob!_

But, TTS just kept on walking. Later on, he went inside The Salty Spittoon, and sat in a corner. He sighed, and drank his daily beer.

Reg, the Salty Spittoon manager, walked up and said, "Hey, Strangler, down in the dumps today?"

"No," TTS replied. Then, he said, "I mean yes. I feel as though something is missing."

"You know that promise we made?" Reg asked, staring into TTS' sad-looking eyes.

"What promise?" TTS asked.

"You know - the promise that no matter what, we would never turn in each other into the authorities."

"Yeah, I remember this."

"Well, here is a new promise. If I help you, you have to help me."

"Okay...erm...I guess?"

"Great! Follow me!" Reg replied, as he took TTS into the employees section, where it was like a ghosttown, and talked to him in private. "So, what's wrong?" Reg asked.

"I don't know - you know how I strangle people?"

"Yeah, it shows off how TUFF you are!"

"Well, I think I love one of the people that I strangled."

"Whom?" Reg asked.


	2. Strangled or Love?

**_Chapter Two: Strangled or Love_**

"I just can't tell you," TTS continued, as he took another sip of his beer.

"Oh come on! Pleeeeeeeease!" Reg cried.

"No, and if you excuse me, I'll be on my way," TTS replied, as he went through the employee doors and exited the dangerous Salty Spittoon.

When TTS got in his house (which by the way, the house is in the shape of a fist), he sat down and watched television.

_Just forget everything about him,_ The Strangler thought in his head. _Everything's going to be alright. But - I can't stop thinking about him. Do I hate him! NO! I love him...oh wait...I hate him!_ TTS continued on and on with this fight in his head. Soon, he thought, _Maybe if I try to remember this person, maybe it might make me think negatively about him._

FLASHBACK

"Will you get out of my face!" TTS screamed at this guy.

"Oh, I'm sooooo sorry Mr. Strangler, but I just wanted to surf some waves!"

"Well, that ain't good enough!" TTS screamed back and punched him right in the face.

END FLASHBACK

_But, yet, what did that guy do to deserve that! I just wanted to punch somebody so badly that I didn't realize who I was punching! Now, look at him. HE'S DEAD! But I have always had a secret crush on him..._ he continued on thinking.

RING! RING! RING! RING!

It was the telephone. TTS got up and answered it. "Strangler Residence, tell me who it is or I will strangle you!" TTS yelled at the phone.

"Hi Strangler!" said the voice.

"GO AWAY!" TTS yelled back into it and slammed the phone. He had just realized who had just called - SpongeBob.

--To Be Continued--


	3. Lagoon Sinkage

**_Chapter Three: Lagoon Sinkage_**

The Strangler stood there, gaping in shock. How in the heck did SpongeBob find out his phone number!

_Just calm down!_ TTS told himself. _You can always change your phone number..._

TTS got up and went to his bedroom, and grabbed his book. "Oh BARNACLES!"' TTS yelled. "This is overdue! Oh well. I have too much on my mind anyways."

FLASHBACK

"Please, Mr. Strangler! Like my hat? I'll give it to you!"

"No!" TTS yelled as he gave the guy another punch.

"STOP IT PLEASE!"

"I said SHUT UP!" TTS yelled as he punched the guy one last time. Then, TTS picked him up and pushed him into a locked car, which can only be unlocked on the outside.

TTS then pushed the car into the Goo Lagoon when it was dark, and then the guy yelled, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" as he drowned into the water.

END FLASHBACK

_Oh boy, that was sure fun, but I have always kept my emotions away from him,_ he thought in his head. Then he convinced himself, _Maybe a good night's sleep will do..._ And TTS drifted off into sleep.

---


	4. The Next Morning

This chapter is told in Squidward's point of view. 

**_Chapter Four: The Next Morning_**

HHOOOOOOOOOOONK!

Squidward wakes up and says, "That darn annoying alarm clock SpongeBob has! That needs to go. Everybody knows that SpongeBob is a son of a-"

"Hello, Squidward!" SpongeBob interrupted, as he was lieing on the other side of Squidward's bed.

"What the! WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE!" Squidward demanded at the yellow sponge.

SpongeBob replied, "Well, I just wanted to tell you that we had to go to work!"

_Why do we have to work EVERYDAY!_ Squidward thought in his head. _I mean, I have NEVER had a break in 4 years!_

"All right, I'm on my way to work," Squidward replied, unsarcastically, as he was getting dressed in his bathroom

"Great! I'll be on my way to work now. I'll meet you there!"

Later, Squidward was almost at the Krusty Krab when something pulled him by the collar. "OWWWWW!" Squidward yelled in excruciating pain.

"Squidward, we need to talk," a mysterious figure with a dark voice replied, as he took Squidward into a dark alley.

--To Be Continued--

SpongeBob was not in the bathroom with him. Guys, I don't want anything gay in my fanfics. Thnx!


	5. The Talk

**_Chapter Five: The "Talk"_**

"What! What's happening!" Squidward yelled.

"Hi, Squidward," TTS said to Squidward.

"OH NO! THE STRANGLER! DON'T STRANGLE ME!" Squidward panicked.

"Don't worry, I am not going to hurt you..." TTS replied.

"Oh," Squidward thought to himself.

TTS then said, "It's about SpongeBob. How do you manage to handle him?"

"I don't," Squid replied. "I just try to avoid him."

"I guess we both have something in common..." TTS said.

Then, both of them sighed together, as they slid down on the wall, making them lie down on the ground.

"You know I could turn you in," Squidward told TTS.

"Will you actually do that?" TTS asked.

"Yeah."

"DIE SQUIDWARD!" TTS yelled as he pulled out a chainsaw.

Squidward then ran off like the wind, trying to forget the last 15 minutes of his life.


	6. The Big BooBoo!

**_Chapter Six: The Big Boo-Boo!_**

1 year later, that guy TTS loves has went on vacation to Hawaii (about a 1 hr flight away from Bikini Bottom). TTS was sitting in his chair, watching television. He was drooling, clothes torn, and still was thinking about this guy.

FLASHBACK

"Go away, you freak!" TTS yelled as he pushed him once last time.

"You'll never kill me!"

"You are lucky that you have 8 lives left, sonny."

"SO!"

END FLASHBACK

Life without him will never be the same, TTS thought in his head.

RING RING!

The phone rang. TTS answered it and then heard, "Hey Strangler. How's it going ?"

"Oh, hi Smitty. How are you?" TTS replied in a nice tone.

"Dead."

They both then laughed their heads off, then sighed together.

"Long time, no see," TTS told Smitty.

"Yeah. I remember the times that me and you had - picking on people, you making everyone make me their #1 person in Funkytown."

"Yeah, great times. So, where are you?"

"Over there at the Bikini Bottom Gas Station."

"Okay. Meet you there."

"NO! WAIT! DON'T COME HERE!"

"Why not?" TTS asked, confused.

Smitty replied, "Just don't! BYE!"

And TTS lost signal. TTS thought in his head, _I got to find out what's going on!_


	7. The Mysterious Item

**_Chapter Seven: The Mysterious Item_**

_Had Smitty's brain finally went dead!_ TTS thought in his head, wondering what he was hiding at 12 o' clock in the morning. He jumped in a boat, which had a roof over, and he opened the garage door. The door flung up, almost like magic, and he drove off into the wet road.

It wasn't exactly a perfect night. It was raining cats and dogs outside, and the more TTS went, the more rain towered onto his car. Soon, so much rain was hitting his car, he couldn't see anything. So, he pulled off, and turned off the car.

_BARNACLES!_ TTS thought in his head at the sight of this. He was only a mile away from the gas station. But, the Strangler didn't let this go past him. He jumped out the car, hoping to see a car who would pick him up. Maybe it would be one of his friends that would. But he left the cell phone at home - so how would he do it?

Then, he saw Smitty pull over in a boat made out of bones and flesh. Smitty then spotted TTS and then panicked. "GET AWAY FROM ME, RIGHT NOW!" he yelled, as he tried to find a weapon. It had seemed like there was none, for Smitty then struggled to get in the back of the boat.

"What's wrong?" TTS asked politely. Of course, TTS is never polite, and Smitty knew that, so Smitty started shaking all over.

TTS crossed the street; wasn't aware that there wasn't any cars passing by. He then walked onto the muddy grass, and was lucky, because he could of been runned over.

"GET AWAY!" Smitty yelled. "I CAN CALL 9-1-1!"

"Skeletons don't get cell phones..." TTS exclaimed, giving Smitty a dirty look.

TTS then looked in the front row. He then found a small, red, little rock. I could of sworn I saw this before... TTS thought in his head.

"Happy? You've found out. Nicholas Flamel is my friend, and -"

TTS interrupted as he gazed on the object, "Flamel! Of course I found out about this before! This is the Philosoph -"

Smitty interrupted, "SSSSSSSSSSSSH! I don't want people knowing about the Philosopher's Stone!"

"So you've used the Elixer of Life made by the stone to live forever!"

"Yes, but keep it a secret!"

FLASHBACK

TTS gave the guy another punch. "How do you like me NOW!"

The guy then passed out, and then Smitty said, "Let's keep that a secret."

"Okay."

END FLASHBACK

TTS remembered that, and then he remembered that he cannot keep secrets. But - he knew this secret had to be kept a secret.

"Okay."

Then, the rain cleared up, and they looked at each other. They never noticed Mrs. Puff and SpongeBob flying by, with SpongeBob driving, and the boat SpongeBob was driving crashed into a lightpole.


	8. The Voice Behind the Phone

**_Chapter Eight: The Voice Behind the Phone_**

The next day, TTS was sitting in his armchair watching TV.

RING! RING!

It was the telephone. _God, how many times will people call me this week!_ TTS thought in his head.

He picked up the phone, and said his greeting. He then heard nothing. This was unusual, for somebody ALWAYS started talking immediately.

"He-he-he-hello?" a small voice stuttered into the phone.

"Hello," TTS replied to the non-familiar voice.

The voice was soft, and a little hard to understand. It was high pitched, and it sounded like it was injured pretty badly. Almost like somebody who was just scarred for life by being beaten by a belt. TTS swore he heard of this voice from SOMEWHERE. But where?

The voice replied, "Thought I was dead, eh?"

TTS dropped the phone, with his mouth opened. He KNEW who it was now. It wasn't Smitty. It wasn't SpongeBob. Nor was it Phoney Balogney Moustache Emporium wondering why he hasn't paid his $.99 yet for his fake moustache for a disguise for SpongeBob.

"Are you there?" the voice replied.

The TattleTale Strangler then picked up the phone, and said, "Oh my gosh."

"Loss of words. I knew this would happen," the voice replied. "You have probably forgot about my 9 lives - which I currently only have 2 lives left, due to all the accidents happening to me..."

"But you were in a movie once!" TTS screamed back.

"Heh," the voice replied. "Maybe so, but I still own you. You may be stronger than me. You may be like 5 feet taller than me. But I have twice the brain you will ever have."

TTS knew this was a lie. The guy didn't have barely any brains. Well, most actors don't, in fact.

"Well, I have a little secret for you," the voice replied. "I am not male."

"LIES!" TTS replied. "THIS IS ALL LIES!"

"Heh," the voice replied. "You were always stupider than I am." The voice was now even higher, in a female-type voice. "My name is Mrs. Puss in Boots. I usually play myself male version in movies."

TTS then replied, "YOU ARE LIEING TO ME, DAMN IT!"

"Think about it," she replied. "I'll call back tomorrow."

TTS slammed the phone. No wonder he had fell madly in love with that guy! Turns out it's not a guy after all! Strangley, this made The Strangler want Ms. Puss in Boots even more. He just had to figure this all out tonight.

_What will I do?_ TTS wondered, as he paced the floor. _I'll just call Reg or Smitty - they'll know what to do!_

--To Be Continued--


	9. Ms Puss in Boots

**_Chapter Nine: Ms. Puss in Boots_**

After hearing what he was having a crush on, TTS ran to the phone as quick as possible. His head was sweating. He was so hot he took his shirt off. He then picked up the phone and rushed to enter in Smitty's number.

_Ring! Ring!_

"Darn it! Somebody's already calling me!" TTS screamed as he picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, it's me again."

Not knowing who it was, TTS slammed the phone, thinking it was Ms. Puss in Boots. He dialed Smitty's number, and then told him, "Smitty!"

"Yes?" Smitty replied over the phone.

"Have you ever wondered why I have been acting wierdly lately?"

"Yes, sort of. Why?" Smitty asked.

"Well," TTS started. Then he lost what he was going to say. He didn't know how to put it.

"Are you still there?" Smitty asked him.

"Yes..." TTS said slowly while thinking. _How should I tell him!_ TTS thought in his head.

"Strangler, what is it? I've been waiting for 5 minutes now!"

Smitty waited another minute, and hung up.

"GRRRRRRRR!" TTS shouted very loudly as he then flung himself on his bed in frustration. He grabbed out his package of cigarettes and then his lighter. He then took a smoke, and then after he calmed down, and went to The Salty Spattoon.

"One glass of wine please," TTS told Reg.

Reg looked at TTS. "Are you hot or something? Because your shirt is off..."

"Yeah, I know! Just give me a glass of wine!"

"Okay! Sheesh!" Reg replied to the rude strangler and gave him his glass of wine. "What is up with you today!"

"What do you mean 'What is up with you today!' There's nothing wrong with me!" TTS tried to convince Reg and himself.

"Yeah, there is."

TTS then jumped in the air and landed on Reg.

"TattleTale Strangler! What is wrong with you? OUCH!"

"NOTHING!"

Then the police came in, running towards the strangling TTS. They pushed him in the car. TTS was going to jail.

"Oh no, what have I done?" Reg asked himself.

--To Be Continued--


	10. The Suicide

**_Chapter Ten: The Suicide_**

Reg then rushed outside and ran after the police car. It was scorching hot outside, and he was sweating miserably.

After what had seemed like ten minutes, Reg finally reached the jail. He bursted open the doors, and panted for a second.

Two fish were at the Jail desk. They stared at Reg like he was a criminal.

"Where is The Strangler?" Reg asked.

"Solitude Confinment," said one of the fish.

"Oh," Reg said. "I have bail money."

"Really?" asked the other fish.

"Yes."

"Follow us."

The two fish led Reg to TTS' jail cell, where he found Smitty crying inside his bony hands.

Reg then looked through the door, and found TTS laying on the ground. Smitty gave him a piece of parchment. It read:

Dear Friends and/or Family,  
If you are reading this, then I am probably already dead. I've commited suicide (.. .----. -- .- .-.. .. ...- .) because of the secret crush I've had. I'm sorry.  
From,  
TTS

Reg then stared at the note. He then had tears come down his eyes. "It's over," he cried.

To Be Continued.


End file.
